December 1st, 2005 Girls, I just got back from the vet's a little while ago. My dear Abby fell asleep with her head in my lap to never awaken again. It was painless for her and quick -- very quick. I had hopes of getting through this dry-eyed until I could get home but that was some kind of macho bullshit wish. The tears, like the rain here today, came in swells even before I could get her to the vets. Abby died with her eyes open, both of them clouded with cataracts. When I laid her head down it was between her two front legs and she looked so much like she was still there, just laying there looking around like I've seen her do a thousand times before. They were kind enough to give me a few minutes alone with her. I just kept petting her and telling her how sorry I was. At the moment it doesn't matter that it was the right thing to do for her. It just hurts -- terribly. Dad
Hard to believe it was 4 years ago today. It was one of the hardest things I've done to sit there with her as the vet put her to sleep -- it tore me up inside much more than I expected even though I thought I was expecting the worst.